News : Eisner In Celtic Takeover

News from Anaheim California today that Michael Eisner will be  putting in a bid for Celtic Football Club. The Anaheim based company, that Eisner represents wish to add  Celtic to their empire. The bid for Celtic is currently before the Celtic supremo (Dictator) McCann.There are worries however that Eisners company are not Celtic minded enough, and revelations about changes that Eisner wants to put in place may bear this out. The clubs colours will  change to Black and Red. and the Shamrock emblem will change to only two leaves both pointed upwards and connected by a wide round semi circle.

The team will in future also spend the mid-season break either just south of Paris France or in Orlando in Florida with a remote possibility of Anaheim itself being another destination.

Eisner of course is the president of Walt Disney Corp. and the bid came about after Eisners son asked him for a Mickey Mouse outfit, for Valentines day. Eisner has scoured the world and has concluded that Celtic are the biggest Mickey Mouse Outfit going. A view shared by many.

Watch for new marketing ideas like  videos with the following titles;

• It is a long way to past glories, ( might be delayed as Eisner consults with Ted Turner re colourisation of old film footage).
• The Story of the three little Pigs ( a history of the rebuilding of Porkheid-with the old jungle represented by the straw house, the new Porkheid by the wooden house and Ibrox being the brick house, but in a twist of plot they are not allowed in to the brick house because of past wanton damage inflicted ).
• Rescuers down under. ( how Australian players mental instability distracts from real problems in the board room)
   etc,

Further to this story, part of the Disney deal would have Celtic forced to sign the Hunchback of Notre Dame.  McCann, in response to this at a press conference today, said "But I thought we already HAD Stubbs?".

Nonetheless,the rumours that Eisner is not "Celtic-minded" have now been quashed.As well, Mahe and Larsson may be handed their walking papers as Disney will impose the signing of the Seven Dwarves as their replacements.  The dwarves will take the field, three each, one on top of the other's shoulders.  In this manner, the characters will be able to rotate positions of top, middle and bottom throughout the game.  This will give their respective field positions fresh legs every fifteen minutes per half and yet not use a valuable substitution.

The seventh dwarf, Dopey, will not take the field due to his obligations in team management.The Disney-fication of Park Head seems to be upon us now, with a proposed namechange to the Celtic field appearing to be "Mankey-Disney" to follow in the footsteps of "Euro-Disney". 

 Though the new marquee is not yet in place, other signs about the club show that Eisner is not kidding.  Just like many of the many rides and amusements that exist at DisneyLand, DisneyWorld and EuroDisney, Eisner has posted a sign in front of the Celtic trophy case stating "50 Year Wait Beyond This Point".

Also at the admission gates, a cut-out picture of Goofy waves to the entering supporters with a cartoon bubble stating "Sorry, you must be dumber than me to support this club".